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This was an in an email advertisement!

Parts of it are funny to think about, but please do not do things that are harmful or disrespectful to others.

DISCLAIMER: I cannot take responsibility for any actions taken as described in this text. I advise you to look at this text as a source for reading enjoyment only. If you do consider an action, also consider it's consequence, both for the victim and for yourself.


LOST KEYS: Get hold of some old useless keys (car, house,etc.). Place victim's name, phone number and $50.00 reward... if found and returned. Drop the keys in one of the less desirable areas of town.

X-RAYS AT AIRPORTS: Purchase a large adult bedroom toy. Wrap it in a large amount of tin foil. Secretly hide it in a piece of the victim carry on luggage. As it goes through the airport x-ray machine the contents of the device will be shielded by the tin foil and will be unwrapped-inspected by airport security officials. This one will make your sides hurt from laughter, if present during the inspection. I like this prank for both male and female victims.

DOGS: Purchase a silent dog whistle. In the early hours of the morning (2am-4am) go near the victim's house and blow the silent whistle and the dog will begin to bark uncontrollably until the owner awakes and disciplines the animal. When the owner goes back to bed repeat the process again.

GARAGE SALE: Place an ad in the classified section of your local newspaper advertising a GIGANTIC Garage Sale listing the address of your victim. Advertise televisions, cam-corder, vintage automobile, antiques, etc. Sale begins at 6:00 a.m. Come early!

PAPER MONEY: Write a sexually oriented solicitation message, victim's name and phone number (inviting a phone call) on the edge of several pieces of paper money before spending them. The victim will receive many eye popping inquiries.

TAG ALONG ROAD KILL - Find a dead dog or cat along side a road. Take a 12 foot long rope, tie one end around the animal and the other end around the back axle of the victims automobile. Balance the dog or cat on the back axle of the automobile. As the victim drives, the animal will drop off the axle and will be dragged about 8 foot behind the automobile horrifying fellow motorists. This one kills me!

ANIMAL POO-POO - With plastic gloves on find some animal poo-poo and place it under the door handles of the victim's automobile. The end result is a sticky situation.

NOISY APARTMENT NEIGHBORS - Place a clock radio or portable stereo in a large cardboard box. Place open end of box next to the wall adjoining the victim's apartment. Tune the radio to whatever obnoxious station you choose. Turn-on when you are away and turn-off when you return home.

BOWEL CONTROL PROBLEMS - Place a Baby Ruth candy bar next to victim while they are in bed asleep. Body heat will melt the chocolate to the point that when the victim awakes they will think they had an embarrassing accident. This is a great, brother-sister or college dorm prank.

FAX MACHINES - Write whatever you wish on 9 pages of 8 1/2 by 11 inch paper and tape them together (end to end). Dial the victim's fax number and start sending the pages through. After page two has been transmitted, tape the top of page 1 to the bottom of page 9 making a continuous loop. The document will continue to cycle until the victim's fax machine has run out of paper. Be sure and disable your phone number from being printed on the fax and also disable caller I.D. This prank is great to get even with a business or individual who has somehow cheated you.

Bumper stickers:

"Screw Unions, Drive a Foreign Car"

"Have You Beat Your Kid Today"

"Bikers on Harley's are Gay"

"(team name) fans are Wimps"

"If You're Gay, Call Me (include Victims Phone Number)"

"For Free Sex Call (include Victims Phone Number)"

"Honk If You Want Head"

"I'm Proud To Be a Homosexual"

"I've Got Herpes, Want Some?"

One liners:

"I can't believe it, you're pregnant again"

"Don't ever come near my 9 year old daughter again"

"Why don't you quit selling dope to school kids"


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